I've already said to a certain degree that the infamous "Seattle Freeze" is mostly bullshit. A large amount of people who move into this area do so for jobs in IT, and the large majority of those people, let's face it, are not the most gregarious and outgoing in the first place. When faced with the reality that most people here, while nice, don't roll out the red carpet into their social circle upon first meeting you as the newcomer, then many of these new people, who are not used to exerting much effort into making friends outside of their own network, throw their hands up in the air and consider Seattleites as a whole a bunch of closed-off assholes.
That said, since my job is in sales, I've encountered a lot of people also new to the area who need to "network" with those w/in this society for the sake of their employment, which is a similar yet still different nut to crack entirely. Admittedly while performing the duties of my own job, I've come across this as well, but it's not the end of the world.
The fact of the matter is Seattle is not New York, Boston, Los Angeles, Chicago...[enter virtually any large metropolitan area] in two giant areas; it does not have a large, cherished history of attracting professionals from "the outside", and its location is fairly remote as the unquestioned population and economic center of the still largely undeveloped and unurbanized Pacific Northwest.
Before the boom of Microsoft and its ilk, it was essentially a giant fishing and industrial town staffed by lost Northern Europeans and Asian immigrants. If you came to the area, you were like my Dad; you were in the military, got stationed here, and left once your commitment was up or you were transferred. All the other major cities on the east coast had long begun their economic transistion before a certain campus was built in Redmond. While the overall growth of the area here was pretty rapid (and wages here are good), there is a reason why "the grunge" movement started here, and no not because it rains a lot and drugs are plentiful; the economy, for a long time, sucked.
For years, Seattle was just the lone decently-sized city, nowhere near anywhere else in particular of note (Portland, OR is not a major city, and doesn't even compare to Seattle both in overall size and economic importance). It's isolation I'm sure brewed a sense of "Us vs. Them" that still fosters, particularly among the older population today. 15-20 years of young professionals graduating college to work for tech companies (engineering positions at Boeing being the only other draw for outsiders for fucking years and years) in the area is simply not enough time for a true Seattleite to accept and understand that Seattle is now something different. Couple that with now various multinational companies opening regional offices which now represent various industries (keep in mind, I moved here and I'm not in IT), literally overnight in comparison to the path most cities in the United States have taken, the city has changed remarkably. From strictly a social standpoint among the "old money" and the official "Seattle elite", probably too fast.
New York has been attracting people from all over for centuries. Damn near every other big city (particularly on the east coast) has been doing for several decades. Many of the skyscrapers you see in other cities were built 50 years ago and even further back. Most of Seattle's skyline was built after 1970. Seattle seriously has been doing it (and at a breakneck pace) for...what, three decades? Maybe four? People born and raised here have seen the transformation and can't help but want to keep those they've known for years at their side, while casting suspicion at newcomers because, well, "they don't really know Seattle".
Is it fair? Not really, but climbing up their ass about it isn't either. Respect the fact that this city has seen an economic rise (and social change) over the past few decades, that more and more people means more and more construction and development and less easily accessible nature and space, and it will take a considerable amount of time before "Us vs Them" simply becomes "Us."
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Manliness
My Dad always told me a lot of things; most of which were never terribly important to me because he was perhaps already half in the bag when he uttered the words, or I was too busy staring at the ceiling. If I actually had a viable distraction at my disposal, say the TV or a hot girl within reasonable distance, then it wouldn't even register to me that my own father was talking. For a military man who owns a lot of guns, he doesn't always command a shitload of respect.
One thing though that fell out of his mouth that formed a coherent, rational thought which I also picked up and retained for myself was his opinion on being a "man". It surprisingly has nothing to do with a penis; whether it's the length, girth, or the amount of tricks it can do. The definition has nothing to do with women; the number you've been with, the quality thereof, or the tricks they can do (although I would consider the boyfriend of a girl who can do DP while baking cookies and writing Shakespearian soliloquies with her foot to be a "man". He would receive an honorary Man Express Gold card, with 50,000 free Man Express Reward points.)
It also had little do with one's job, one's hobbies, their social life, their goals...it all came down to simply owning up to your mistakes. If you fuck up, and I mean FUCK UP, and look people in the eye, particularly the ones most affected by your fucked up-ness, and tell them, "my fuck up", then you are in fact a man (as well as one who swears too much. 3,000 point Man Express Reward bonus).
I write this because in the past couple days I've found it staggering just how few "men" fail at being, well, "men" (-15,000 Man Express point automatic reduction for every offense). I'm not going to sandbag this individual anymore on the internet (not manly, potential loss of Man Express points, and I would feel kinda bad), but I made a fair amount effort on my part to understand this particular "fake" man, and to see where he was coming from, and I walked away feeling more upset and frustrated that this so-called "man" was being...a bitch (I win 2,000 Man Reward points for the insult, but also penalized -25,000 points for killing this joke entirely). I hate bitches, by the way.
My point? Tell shit like it is. You got a problem? Diagnose it. Find the root, and if it's yourself, which it will be A LOT in life, then say so. Pansy.
Now pardon me while I redeem whatever Man Reward points I have left. I think I have a free flight to Cancun...no, wait...Camden. Shit. Off to fuck bitches and start fights to increase my points.
One thing though that fell out of his mouth that formed a coherent, rational thought which I also picked up and retained for myself was his opinion on being a "man". It surprisingly has nothing to do with a penis; whether it's the length, girth, or the amount of tricks it can do. The definition has nothing to do with women; the number you've been with, the quality thereof, or the tricks they can do (although I would consider the boyfriend of a girl who can do DP while baking cookies and writing Shakespearian soliloquies with her foot to be a "man". He would receive an honorary Man Express Gold card, with 50,000 free Man Express Reward points.)
It also had little do with one's job, one's hobbies, their social life, their goals...it all came down to simply owning up to your mistakes. If you fuck up, and I mean FUCK UP, and look people in the eye, particularly the ones most affected by your fucked up-ness, and tell them, "my fuck up", then you are in fact a man (as well as one who swears too much. 3,000 point Man Express Reward bonus).
I write this because in the past couple days I've found it staggering just how few "men" fail at being, well, "men" (-15,000 Man Express point automatic reduction for every offense). I'm not going to sandbag this individual anymore on the internet (not manly, potential loss of Man Express points, and I would feel kinda bad), but I made a fair amount effort on my part to understand this particular "fake" man, and to see where he was coming from, and I walked away feeling more upset and frustrated that this so-called "man" was being...a bitch (I win 2,000 Man Reward points for the insult, but also penalized -25,000 points for killing this joke entirely). I hate bitches, by the way.
My point? Tell shit like it is. You got a problem? Diagnose it. Find the root, and if it's yourself, which it will be A LOT in life, then say so. Pansy.
Now pardon me while I redeem whatever Man Reward points I have left. I think I have a free flight to Cancun...no, wait...Camden. Shit. Off to fuck bitches and start fights to increase my points.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Romantic Horseshit 101
Some relationship articles aren't dumb at all, just overly cutesy like this one. The fact people get paid to write this shit is beyond me. Anyways, there's a few opening paragraphs which provide enough insight to make the average Us Weekly article read like fucking Carl Sagan, and then it spews cow patties about asking yourself questions. Perhaps out loud. On an Amtrak. Naked.
"The marriage question
Have you been fantasising about your wedding day since you were a child? Or would you be just as happy having some other sort of commitment such as a mortgage with your partner?"
Well this is tough, because I see so many people during the course of my day where from mere appearances, I think to myself, "I'd love to have a joint checking account with this individual. They look so responsible". Lord knows, I once dated a girl because I just knew she'd be perfect to put money down with towards buying a Prius together. She dumped me when the word "Prius" came out of my mouth.
"The future question
Do you have visions of growing old and grey with your partner? Or are you more of a serial monogamist, who's happy to have a few good years with someone before moving on to the next relationship?"
Generally, I try to refrain from picturing my dates as older, saggier tittied versions of themselves. Particularly when fucking them.
"The kids question
Is the tick from your biological clock deafening you? Or does the thought of snotty little brats fill you with dread? What do you think about a relationship involving children from a previous marriage or relationship?"
The thought of snotty little brats waking me up in the middle of the night, poking me with hot embers and telling me I'm their father would fill me with a lot of dread, come to think of it.
"The best friend question
Do you want your partner to be your best friend, or is there someone else in your life that your partner will never compete with when it comes to being a best friend?"
No, in fact I'd like the love of my life to be worst enemy. We'd be adversaries, sleeping with each other, owning a house and perhaps raising children together, and all the while plotting to kill each other. Only we won't, end up living until our 70's or 80's and spending the rest of eternity up in "assassin heaven" pissed off at ourselves for missing our chance.
"The details question
Is it necessary for you to hear about every little incident and thought your partner has day in, day out? Or do you prefer to have some emotional space, preferring to hear only the Reader's Digest version of what your partner’s been up to?"
I interpret this as the "are you a jealous fuck?" question. I interpret my interpretation of the question to be correct. I interpret my answer to be "no, I don't need to know every little thing she does." Except the "I got drunk that night with Wendy from work and had the entire Accounting Department run the train on me." This would be a minor detail worth knowing.
"The (in)dependence question
Are you looking for someone to do absolutely everything with, from your home life to your hobbies? Or are you happy with spending time being independent as well as together? "
The couples who literally do everything together are really cute at first, and then begin to creep you out when you notice they laugh at their own jokes the exact same way, cut their steak into the same size bites, seem to have the exact same opinion on the acting abilities of a pre-1987 Steve Martin...and then, a couple years later, when you're still "single" and they're still together, you grow a festering hatred for them and consider the possibilities of setting their house on fire. Even when you do, they'll still piss you off when they run out of the house at the exact same time, screaming the exact same thing.
"The sex question
Are you prepared to be in a relationship where the sex is so-so if every other aspect of the relationship is excellent? Perhaps sex is the most crucial aspect of your relationship? Identifying this up-front can help you choose more suitable partners. "
Personally, the sex with me isn't that important. It really comes down to how well the bitch cooks meatloaf. My mom, bless her heart, makes GREAT meatloaf. Almost everyone else I know takes a lump of buffalo shit out of the oven that has the consistency of drywall and still have the nerve to actually call it meatloaf. Fuck that.
"A perfect ending
'I am deliriously happy. Being what some refer to as middle-aged, I was tentative about Internet dating. I had concluded that it was only for twenty-somethings after seeing the TV ads! I decided I had nothing to lose though and went ahead anyway. Within a week I was contacted by the wonderful man who has become the love of my life! We agreed to meet for coffee. We just walked, talked, dined and gazed into each others' eyes all along Melbourne's Southbank. Now, eight months later, we are planning to spend the rest of our lives together. I still cannot believe how quick it was to find that special someone.' Heather, Geelong, VA. "
Well, apparently all it takes to swoon middle-aged Heather is to take her out for coffee and stare at her. If this is all it takes to score poon from internet dating...
"The marriage question
Have you been fantasising about your wedding day since you were a child? Or would you be just as happy having some other sort of commitment such as a mortgage with your partner?"
Well this is tough, because I see so many people during the course of my day where from mere appearances, I think to myself, "I'd love to have a joint checking account with this individual. They look so responsible". Lord knows, I once dated a girl because I just knew she'd be perfect to put money down with towards buying a Prius together. She dumped me when the word "Prius" came out of my mouth.
"The future question
Do you have visions of growing old and grey with your partner? Or are you more of a serial monogamist, who's happy to have a few good years with someone before moving on to the next relationship?"
Generally, I try to refrain from picturing my dates as older, saggier tittied versions of themselves. Particularly when fucking them.
"The kids question
Is the tick from your biological clock deafening you? Or does the thought of snotty little brats fill you with dread? What do you think about a relationship involving children from a previous marriage or relationship?"
The thought of snotty little brats waking me up in the middle of the night, poking me with hot embers and telling me I'm their father would fill me with a lot of dread, come to think of it.
"The best friend question
Do you want your partner to be your best friend, or is there someone else in your life that your partner will never compete with when it comes to being a best friend?"
No, in fact I'd like the love of my life to be worst enemy. We'd be adversaries, sleeping with each other, owning a house and perhaps raising children together, and all the while plotting to kill each other. Only we won't, end up living until our 70's or 80's and spending the rest of eternity up in "assassin heaven" pissed off at ourselves for missing our chance.
"The details question
Is it necessary for you to hear about every little incident and thought your partner has day in, day out? Or do you prefer to have some emotional space, preferring to hear only the Reader's Digest version of what your partner’s been up to?"
I interpret this as the "are you a jealous fuck?" question. I interpret my interpretation of the question to be correct. I interpret my answer to be "no, I don't need to know every little thing she does." Except the "I got drunk that night with Wendy from work and had the entire Accounting Department run the train on me." This would be a minor detail worth knowing.
"The (in)dependence question
Are you looking for someone to do absolutely everything with, from your home life to your hobbies? Or are you happy with spending time being independent as well as together? "
The couples who literally do everything together are really cute at first, and then begin to creep you out when you notice they laugh at their own jokes the exact same way, cut their steak into the same size bites, seem to have the exact same opinion on the acting abilities of a pre-1987 Steve Martin...and then, a couple years later, when you're still "single" and they're still together, you grow a festering hatred for them and consider the possibilities of setting their house on fire. Even when you do, they'll still piss you off when they run out of the house at the exact same time, screaming the exact same thing.
"The sex question
Are you prepared to be in a relationship where the sex is so-so if every other aspect of the relationship is excellent? Perhaps sex is the most crucial aspect of your relationship? Identifying this up-front can help you choose more suitable partners. "
Personally, the sex with me isn't that important. It really comes down to how well the bitch cooks meatloaf. My mom, bless her heart, makes GREAT meatloaf. Almost everyone else I know takes a lump of buffalo shit out of the oven that has the consistency of drywall and still have the nerve to actually call it meatloaf. Fuck that.
"A perfect ending
'I am deliriously happy. Being what some refer to as middle-aged, I was tentative about Internet dating. I had concluded that it was only for twenty-somethings after seeing the TV ads! I decided I had nothing to lose though and went ahead anyway. Within a week I was contacted by the wonderful man who has become the love of my life! We agreed to meet for coffee. We just walked, talked, dined and gazed into each others' eyes all along Melbourne's Southbank. Now, eight months later, we are planning to spend the rest of our lives together. I still cannot believe how quick it was to find that special someone.' Heather, Geelong, VA. "
Well, apparently all it takes to swoon middle-aged Heather is to take her out for coffee and stare at her. If this is all it takes to score poon from internet dating...
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